


Fall Down Seven Times, Stand Up Eight

by Allysphere



Series: Aftermath [2]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Drama, Episode Tag, Episode Tag: S04E15 Taken, F/M, Heartbreak, Missing Scene, Post Break Up, post 4x15
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-26
Updated: 2016-02-26
Packaged: 2018-05-23 06:29:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,064
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6107969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Allysphere/pseuds/Allysphere
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Isn't it ironic how her broken body had healed only for her heart to be broken in return. The only thing left for her was to figure out how to deal with it and acostume yet again to the changed circumstances in her life.</p><p> </p><p>[Post Episode 4.15 Taken]</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fall Down Seven Times, Stand Up Eight

Her steps faltered as soon as the front door fell closed behind her. With shaky arms she reached for the nearest wall, using it to slowly guide herself to the floor, the short walk draining her of all the energy she had had left after the last few days. How she could have thought that they had finally caught a break, she couldn’t fathom anymore. There were no lucky breaks for her when it came to relationships, it seemed. No happy stories.  
  
By now she should have been used to the hollow pain in her chest. First her dad, Cooper and now Oliver. It looked like the men in her life weren’t there to stay. And neither of them were entirely honest with her. Maybe there really was something wrong in her? Otherwise there was no explanation for why she was disappointed time and time again. As if nobody really cared about upholding their promises when it concerned her.  
  
Using her coat’s sleeve to brush away the tears silently running down her cheeks she took a deep breath, blinked away the tears stubbornly dropping from her lashes and tried to get a reign on herself again. She couldn’t remember when she had started crying, to busy dealing with all her feelings catching up with her. In hindsight she was amazed at herself for keeping it together as long as she did. Compartmentalizing everything and focusing on finding the boy - Oliver’s son - had apparently kept her from giving in to her tears.  
  
A mere week ago she had been bursting with hope. She had just celebrated her engagement to the man she loved, to the man she saw herself spending the rest of her life with, with a real chance of being able to walk again, to walk down the aisle to him, on her own legs, without any help. And now here she was, having gotten the sensation in her legs back, the cold seeping into her bones, the longer she stayed sitting on the floor in front of their loft, but without the man she wanted to marry. It probably wasn’t even their loft anymore.  
  
With shaking hands she reached for her phone, desperately trying to hold onto whatever composure the day had left her with. The longer she stayed here, on the cold floor, the bigger the chance that someone - Oliver - would find her. Although judging from the distinctive sound of plates and glasses finding their volatile end against the nearest wall or on the floor, she needn’t worry about him finding her anytime soon. (Irrationally she really hopes he at least leaves the two handmade matching breakfast bowls they bought in Bali alone.) But anyways, the first step was to call herself a taxi and figure out where to go next.  
  
Pre-Team-Arrow-Felicity had had a plan for everything. Graduate high school early, get into MIT, get a job. Change the world, while at it. Then Cooper’s supposed death had thrown a wrench in her straight forward plan. She had to regroup. Getting her master’s and a job still were on the agenda. Change the world in small ways, if possible. And then Team Arrow came along and everything changed. The possibility to help and change the world - or city - in big ways presented itself and she took it with both hands, and what she thought was eyes wide open. That’s when her life got complicated. For the most part, she had managed, coped. Bleeding vigilante in the back seat of her car? Deal with it. More near death situations than she cared for? Well, she had survived them all. Falling in love along the way? Scary and full of stones - or leagues of assassins in their case - along the way. And now she didn’t have a plan. Her master plan was long gone, but even the made up version, the bits and pieces and goals and achievement she wanted to reach and which she had cobbled together along the way was useless without him. Even Team Arrow, her one constant over the last four years, hung in the balance.  
  
 Would they be able to work together, without their history getting in the way? Without somebody getting hurt because she couldn’t and wouldn’t fully trust him? She didn’t know. But what she did know was that she had to get up. To get up and make sure that her regaining the function of her legs wasn’t just a figments of her imagination. And if it really was a figment of her imagination, there was no telling that she wouldn’t start to question everything else that had happened over the last few days. But even her imagination wasn’t that cruel. It hurt to much for it not to be real.  
  
Her broken body had healed only for her heart to be broken in return.  
  
Grabbing the door handle for purchase she slowly got back on her feet. Just as she imagined she would do over the next few days and weeks, getting her feet under her again, both physically and metaphorically speaking. Repairing the damage done to both her body and her psyche.  
  
Maybe in a few days she would start to think about it again. Whether there was a chance to repair the damage done to their relationship, the trust between them. Maybe she would find a way in herself to forgive him. He was remorseful, that much she knew, he even seemed to understand why she was as hurt as she was. That didn’t change the fact that right now she didn’t even want to think about trusting him with her heart again.  
  
Trusting him with her life? In a heartbeat. But trusting him with her heart? He had to work for that.  
  
For know she had to figure out where to go next. Her first steps lead her out to the street, to wait for her taxi. After that? Who knows.  
  
Fall down seven times, stand up eight.  
  
She would give herself a day to wallow. A day to stay in bed, order junk food and binge watch all of the shows she never had time to catch up on. And then it was time for her to focus on herself again. That’s how she had survived heartbreak before and that’s how she will survive yet another blow to the trust. Tomorrow she was going to be fine again. Tomorrow.

**Author's Note:**

> Find me on tumblr: [allyspherewrites.tumblr.com](http://allyspherewrites.tumblr.com)


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